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    After being arrested early today for disorderly intoxication, a 32-year-old Florida man compounded matters by telling cops that his name was “Kris Kringle” and that he was born in 1935.

    According to police, Casey Arundel was escorted from a St. Petersburg bar around 2:40 AM for “starting a fight with security personnel and other patrons.” When later approached by police, the “highly intoxicated” Arundel “continued his aggressive and belligerent behavior,” which triggered his arrest.

    After being detained, Arundel “provided his name as Kris Kringle with a date of birth of 11/7/1935,” according to a criminal complaint. “The defendant denied having any photo identification on his person to confirm,” cops added.

    Arundel’s true identity was later determined when investigators found his driver’s license “on his person.”

    Seen in the above photos, Arundel, a Seminole resident, was charged with disorderly intoxication and providing a false name to a law enforcement officer, both misdemeanors.

    Arundel, who was arrested last year for drunk driving, is being held in the county jail in lieu of $250 bond.

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    There has been a sauerkraut attack reported in Florida.

    According to police, Matthew Burnett, 40, "smashed a plate of sauerkraut" into the face of his girlfriend during an argument Tuesday evening at a Ramada Inn in Sarasota.

    Burnett and the 36-year-old victim met online and have “been together off and on for ten months,” cops noted.

    Following the sauerkraut assault, Burnett allegedly shoved the victim against a wall and then later grabbed the woman’s glasses off her face, resulting in a minor injury.

    Pictured at right, Burnett was arrested on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge and booked into the county jail (from which he was released on $500 bond).

    Burnett, who manages a Sarasota restaurant, is scheduled for a September 22 court hearing.

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    8/20 UPDATE: Google blurs out naked sunbather

    A topless woman sunbathing on a Mexico beach was photographed by a Google worker carrying a portable Street View camera rig and can now be seen with only her face blurred on the search giant’s popular mapping feature.

    As seen above (click to enlarge), the woman was recorded as she stood next to chairs set on a stretch of Cancun beach. While Google succeeded in fogging the woman’s face--and that of a male companion in red swim trunks--her breasts received no such consideration. 

    From other angles, the woman’s breasts are blurred, while a nude sunbather on a nearby stretch of beach is encased in a blurry, rectangular shroud.  

    The topless photo was spotted by TSG reader John Stansberry, who was doing some online recon in advance of a Mexico beach vacation.

    The Google worker who mapped the Cancun beach can be seen in the below surf reflection. The worker did such a thorough job that he/she even got close-up shots of two vacationers being ministered to by masseuses in a waterfront hut.

    Earlier this year, an Australian woman flashed a passing Street View car and the resulting photo somehow found its way onto Google. The image was later pixelated after media outlets reported on the topless stunt.

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    A suspect in a hit-and-run accident blamed the crash on her dog, telling a patrolman that he should arrest the pooch, police report.

    Christina Lamoreaux, 33, was involved last week in a one-vehicle crash outside her residence in Wildwood, Florida. Witnesses told cops that Lamoreaux “had left the scene and entered her own apartment.”

    During a police interview, Lamoreaux (seen at right) copped to fleeing the accident scene, but added that she “did not need to stay there due to the fact that she would pay for the damage.”

    Lamoreaux, who smelled of booze, then blamed the accident on her dog, though a police report does not detail the animal’s purported role in the crash. She then contended that, “I should arrest her dog,” noted Officer Matthew Reynolds.

    Instead of caging the canine, Reynolds arrested Lamoreaux, who subsequently failed a series of field sobriety tests at the Sumter County jail. She is facing charges for drunk driving, resisting arrest, and leaving the scene of an accident.

    Free on $2500 bond, Lamoreaux is scheduled for an August 26 arraignment on the misdemeanor counts.

    Last month, Lamoreaux posted to Facebook a photo (seen at left) showing her dog sitting in the passenger seat of a car. “The best road trippin friend… No backseat driving and no comments/complaints on the music choices,” the image was captioned.

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    Three New York City residents are facing criminal charges after cops found them clinging to their gun and religion.

    Following a traffic stop early Monday in Brooklyn, NYPD officers discovered marijuana, a knife, and an open container of alcohol inside a vehicle occupied by Andre Allen, 34, Santina Ferguson, 21, and driver DeShawn Thompson, 24.

    The cops also located what appeared to be a leather-bound Bible (King James version). However, upon closer inspection, officers discovered that the purported Good Book was actually a lockbox hiding a loaded Glock handgun.

    The fake Bible is seen in the above and below NYPD photos.

    Thompson, Ferguson, and Allen were each charged with criminal possession of a weapon and marijuana possession.

    Bible, gun, NYPD
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    Musician Pharrell Williams, an avowed Carl Sagan fan, requires concert promoters to place a framed photo of the late astronomer in his dressing room, according to the performer’s 2015 tour rider, which also calls for the provision of Nilla Wafers, alkaline water, and “SUPER COLD” sodas.

    The 42-year-old Williams has spoken of being obsessed with Sagan since watching the original “Cosmos” series when he was a child. The Sagan photo demand actually appears twice in Williams’s list of dressing room requirements.

    The “Happy” singer’s backstage digs must also contain Patron tequila, Ketel One vodka, gluten-free bread and crackers, Pedialyte, Cetaphil cleansing wipes and lotion, and a “box of matches (Very Important).”

    The rider notes that Williams has "changed his diet" and needs certain “items to be specifically cooked for him on a daily basis at the venues.” Along with five possible fish dishes (“Cooked well. Preferably in a Pan”), Williams will also consume beef stew with carrots and potatoes, though the meat must be “Grass Fed Beef only if available, otherwise no beef.”

    Williams’s touring party--many of whom are on the Atkins Diet--have their dining needs carefully detailed in the rider. Over more than three pages, the document lists a mouth-watering array of suggested dinner entrees, vegetarian dishes, and side plates

    The rider also notes that all advertising signs inside a venue must be darkened since, “We are not hawking pizza or the local ambulance chaser in your burg.” Additionally, a “well rested, sober” guard must be stationed near tour vehicles, the rider states, adding that the worker must be “less concerned with texting or twittering than keeping fans/stalkers from infiltrating the venue and work areas therein.”

    The rider’s advertising/parking entries appear to be the handiwork of tour director Gus Brandt, whose prior work includes authorship of the greatest concert rider ever.

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    After a cop caught him masturbating last night on a Florida beach, Byron Christianoudis apologized and offered an explanation, of sorts, for his alleged lewd behavior.

    “My girlfriend was out of town and I miss her,” the 44-year-old Sarasota resident said, according to a criminal complaint.

    Christianoudis was “sitting in the sand near the sand dunes” when Officer Darin Rath of the Indian Shores Police Department approached him from behind around 6 PM. Rath reported watching Christianoudis “rubbing his genital area (masturbating).”

    While pleasuring himself, Christianoudis appeared to be “watching an adult female and a minor female child walking down the waters edge,” Rath noted.

    When confronted by the cop, Christianoudis “made a spontaneous statement and apologized for his actions.” And then he spoke of pining for his departed sweetheart.

    Christianoudis was arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior, a misdemeanor, and booked into the county jail, where he is being held on $250 bond.

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    Florida cops are investigating the defacement of a Confederate monument erected more than a century ago to honor “the Uncrowned Heroes of the Southern Confederacy.”

    According to Pensacola police, the granite monument was damaged overnight by a vandal who spray painted the words “Confed Lives Don’t Matter” on it. Cops estimated the damage at about $1000.

    In a press release, Police Chief David Alexander III said, “We are investigating this as possible felony criminal mischief because of the extent of damage.”

    Erected in 1891, the Civil War memorial contains an inscription saluting soldiers for “unchallenged devotion and matchless heroism” that “shall continue to be the wonder and inspiration of the ages.”

    The monument is in the center of Pensacola's Lee Square, which was named for Confederate General Robert E. Lee.

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    Meet Babyface Floyd.

    The 32-year-old Floridian--whose name recalls Depression-era hoodlums--was arrested yesterday for allegedly stealing a bracelet from a friend’s home (and then pawning the item for $200).

    According to cops, Floyd stole the jewelry last month while the female victim was at work. Charged with four felonies, he is being held in the Pinellas County lockup on $30,000 bond, according to jail records.

    Floyd, an unemployed St. Petersburg resident, is familiar with the facility due to prior arrests for domestic battery, cocaine possession, robbery, theft, battery, marijuana possession, witness tampering, false imprisonment, and carrying a concealed weapon.

    While an arrest affidavit lists Floyd’s given name as “Baby Face Floyd,” multiple jail records indicate that it is actually “Babyface Floyd,” an apparent amalgam of the gangster names Baby Face Nelson and Pretty Boy Floyd.

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    A Connecticut octogenarian is facing criminal charges after he was spotted, sans clothing, “humping” a bush outside his home, police report.

    Wallace Berg, 81, was arrested Monday on public indecency and breach of peace charges in connection with the incident last month at his Stratford residence.

    According to cops, a neighbor called 911 to report that Berg was walking around his backyard in the nude and had communed with a bush.

    The neighbor, who filmed Berg’s antics and later showed the video to police, told cops that he confronted the pensioner. In response, Berg “stopped the indecent behavior, covered himself with a grill cover, apologized to him and then went into the house,” police reported.

    Berg, a retired embalmer, is free on $10,000 bond and is scheduled for an August 5 Superior Court hearing.

    As seen above, while the backyard of Berg’s modest ranch home is ringed by bushes, the plantings did not keep him out of view of onlookers, police noted.  

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    Meet Vanquesia Hatisha Lowe.

    The 24-year-old Floridian was arrested Saturday after she stashed a “glass vibrator” in her purse and walked out of a Spencer’s gift shop at a Vero Beach mall, cops charge.

    After entering the store, Lowe “went to the adult section in the back,” where she “selected a glass vibrator valued at $24.99.” She then allegedly removed the sex toy from its packaging and placed the item in her purse.

    Lowe exited Spencer’s, but was apprehended at a nearby Aeropostale store. While she initially denied taking the item, Lowe subsequently handed the sex toy over to a store manager.

    Pictured above, Lowe reportedly told police that she “did not think she was going to get caught.” Lowe was charged with misdemeanor theft and booked into the county jail, from which she was released Saturday night on $500 bond.

    An Indian River Sheriff’s Office report does not indicate whether cops seized the sex toy as evidence. While the report describes the glass item as a vibrator, it appears the pleasure aid is actually a dildo for which batteries are not an option.

    As seen here, Lowe is just the latest Spencer’s patron to be collared while allegedly trying to pilfer merchandise from the store’s popular adult toy section.

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    Ohio cops are investigating the ransacking of a Circle K store that was overrun early Saturday morning by up to 70 juveniles.

    According to Akron police, the suspects “entered the gas station and started to destroy and steal property” during the so-called mob and rob attack.

    As seen above, a couple who stopped at the Circle K for gas shot video of the juveniles fleeing the store with stolen merchandise. A woman in the car called 911 and reported that the suspects were “running around in the parking lot like wild children.”

    An Akron Police Department report--which classified the incident as vandalism--noted that the juveniles “entered business to destroy property” and that “misc merchandise damaged and stolen.”

    A store manager estimated that the suspects stole several hundred dollars worth of items. It is unclear how much damage the Circle K suffered during the 10-minute rampage.

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    A hulking restaurant patron who told South Carolina cops that he “had been joking with an African American family and calling them racial slurs” was arrested Saturday night after allegedly assaulting a female waitress who asked him to leave the eatery due to his behavior.

    According to police, Dustin Lowery, 23, struck waitress Megan Churchill in the face during the incident at Shuckers, a raw bar in Myrtle Beach. The 260-pound, 6’ 4” Lowery, seen at right, was charged with misdemeanor battery.

    Churchill told police that Lowery and his family “were causing a disturbance and using racial slurs towards another family.” Churchill said the diatribe was “so bad” that the other family left the restaurant. The 23-year-old waitress added that Lowery slapped her in the face when he was asked to leave Shuckers.

    When questioned by police, Lowery--who smelled strongly of booze--said that he had been jokingly directing racial slurs at the other family, claiming that while “he did not know the family...he didn’t believe they minded” being denigrated.

    Lowery, who works for a construction firm, claimed that he only struck Churchill after she hit him. Lowery, cops noted, outweighs Churchill by 120 pounds and is 13 inches taller than her.

    A witness corroborated Churchill’s account of the encounter, saying that the diner “tried to leave without paying and was cursing and using racial slurs.”